PHILADELPHIA ENDZONE ANIMALS
Team Notes

A-Rod Going... Going... Gone?
(6/11/09) Madonna's favorite boy toy will be leaving Philadelphia with a one way ticket out of town. Animals GM Frankie Ravioli has confirmed he is talking to two teams about a trade that would ship A-Rod far away from the city of brotherly love. A source close to the situation said that since Brandon Webb's status for next season is in limbo, the Animals are looking for a young starting pitcher as part of the deal. While attending a Trenton Sack Attack game to watch the organizations top prospect Stephen Strasburg pitch, Owner Anthony Pucci said, "A-Rod will be traded, and he will be by the trade deadline. We will get full value for him!" he followed that up by saying, "I'm like Mark Messier babeeee, I guarantee both will happen!"

Trades? , Throwbacks & T-shirts:
(5/21/09) The Animals are making it known that they are in the trade market again. The Animals have a few positions they are trying to shore up. At the top of their list is a lefty slugging outfielder. They also are in the market for a starting pitcher and a reliever. The Animals have had preliminary talks with a couple of teams, but can't seem to get a deal done yet. The Animals said they have a few chips on their roster that they would consider moving if the right player is offered. The Animals also have not hesitated in the past to move a high draft pick if it means getting the player they target. GM of the Animals Frankie Ravioli said, "If a team has a player that they think we would be interested in, by all means please send us an email to see if we are interested". Considering that the Animals are one of the busiest teams in the DMB, we think a few trades will go down eventually.

The Animals announced that that they will wear throwback uniforms this year. They will sport the old Philadelphia Eagle Wings uniform that they wore from 1998-2000. They plan to wear them at home when they play Carolina on the 17th & 18th and then when they play Amityville in a three game series starting on the 24th. Animal's owner Anthony Pucci said, "Those throwbacks will look real nice Clark when we are kicking the shit out of my sibling rivals!"

Gets yours now!!! In the Animals Pro Shop is the #1 selling "Kiss This" t-shirt. The "Kiss This" t-shirt is the most popular merchandise item in the Pro Shop. With over 250,000 sold, these shirts are selling in record numbers. Buy 2 and give one to a pathetic friend who roots for one of those crappy teams like the Falcons, Iron Fist or the Mudcats!

Sources from inside the Animals organization believe that the real reason that Alfonso Soriano refused at first to waive his no trade clause was because the Ant Slayers demanded he wear a Captain America costume at the press conference. This is off the heels of finding out last Halloween that Ant Slayers owner Nick Pucci has an infatuation with Super Heroes. Pucci was seen in his owner's box dressed like the caped crusader last Halloween, but family members got worried when he was seen dressed like Batman on at least a dozen occasions after Halloween. All was well in the end, the Ant Slayers dropped their demands that Soriano wear the costume and in return Soriano waived his no trade clause. Just for the record, Owner Nick Pucci did attend the press conference dressed like Wolverine.



News & Notes From The Nest:
(1/17/09) Rumors are that the Animals are still not done shopping before the protected lists are due. A source close to the situation has said that the Animals are in search of a reliever/closer and have already contacted a few teams. The source said that a few teams have more relievers then they can protect, and those are the teams the Animals are in talks with. If the Animals cannot acquire a reliever at a low price, look for them to try and go after an Outfielder.

The Endzone Animals announced Tuesday that the Eagle's Nest will be open for fans to come watch the Eagles game. The game will be shown on the stadium jumbotron. Over 65,000 showed up at the Eagles Nest last Sunday to watch the Eagles smack silly Sheli Manning and the Giants. Go Eagles!!

Jimmy Dugan was hired as a bench coach for the Animals. Dugan was the coach who led the Rockford Peaches to the championship game of the AAGPBL World Series. Dugan will take over the bench duties that were relinqueshed by Mike Schmidt. Schmidt will be the new 1st base coach, taking over for recently fired Von Hayes. Hayes was seen leaving the Animals practice facility weeping uncontrollably. It was reported that the druken,tobacco spitting Dugan was seen chasing after Hayes screaming,"there's no crying in baseball!!".

The Animals annual carnival will be held the week of the all-star break. Speculation is the main event will be a chocolate pudding wrestling match between Arkansas Falcons Owner Mike "Stump" Matiash and a masked Super Hero. Stump was heard screaming at event owners saying that the chocolate pudding must be replaced with General Tso's!

On a final note, the pro shop is fully stocked with crying towels, come and get one!..or two!

Posada Leaving the Nest??
(6/10/08) Animals GM Frankie Ravioli sat with reporters to give his 1st half assessment of the team. Ravioli spent most of the time dancing around the rumors that the Animals have been in discussions with a few teams about trading Jorge Posada. While Ravioli has said that he has received a few offers, he said the offers do not reflect Posada's true worth. "Jorge has been putting up outrageous numbers in the DMB, and to be doing it at the catchers position makes it that much more impressive." We will follow this situation closely because Ravioli has hinted that a trade could happen.

Ravioli also gave Manager Steve Balboni a vote of confidence. The Animals were playing under .500 baseball for over a month before this recent 8 game win streak. Many fans were calling for the head of The Animals long time Manager. Even some reporters were writing that at the very least a coach from Balboni's staff should get fired in hopes of waking the Animals up. "Balboni is the coach of the Animals this year and for years to come." Ravioli went on to say also that Pitching coach Dave Righetti and Hitting coach Pete Incaviglia are safe as well. There were whispers that the Animals long time pitching coach, Dave Righetti, was in trouble because of the recent pitching woes. Righetti said in his best Italian accent " Aletta dem afire me, I kicka dem in da balls! I'd tella that balda bastard Bocci Va Fangul and give the team the Malork!" Sounds like Righetti could use a hug.

Adding to the Alumni!
(6/10/08) The newest member to join the Animals Alumni is fan favorite Brad Radke. Radke played from '04-'06 in Philly and was a workhorse in the rotation. In '05-'06, Radke averaged over 30 starts, and over 200 innings. The Animals first playoff appearance in '05 also happened to be Radke's finest in Philly. In 2005, Radke had a great season when he posted 18 wins, 3.55 era with a 1.15 whip. During Radke's great '05 season, the phenomenon of the "Brad is Rad" T-shirt started. They sold out in seconds before every home game, which led to many people having to buy the replica version in the parking lots from angry looking ghetto men. Many in the media referred to it as the "craze of 05", saying only the craziness for the cabbage patch kids long ago topped it.


The Animals will induct Radke into the Alumni when they host their archrival, the Mudcats on 7-1-08. The Induction Ceremony will include a Video Tribute, Enshrinement into the Alumni, and Radke will also receive a 24K Gold Cheese steak Medallion and a throwback "Brad is Rad! " t-shirt. The first 300 to enter The Nest on the 1st will receive a replica T-shirt as well. What about the other 72,000 who will not get a t-shirt? Animals GM Frankie Ravioli had this to say," Tough Shit! They can eat their damn $1 hot dogs and enjoy the friggin fireworks after the game."

There is no off-season in Philadelphia:
(1/15/08) The Endzone Animals called a press conference in downtown Philadelphia Tuesday to show off their newest acquisitions. GM Frankie Ravioli was a busy person this off-season, pulling off three huge trades that will no doubt keep the Animals a contender this season. " We would like to welcome Mark Teixeira, Jorge Posada and Chris Young to the Endzone Animals family", stated Frankie Ravioli.

Ravioli shot back at the critics who said acquiring these players would compromise the Animals future," Some might think we have sacrificed our future for this season, but with Teixeira being only 27, and Young only 24, we feel we have solidified our future as well as being able to stay competitive for this year" The Animals have added some punch (82 HRs between the 3) and gave Pujols some much needed protection.

Ravioli also has hinted that more moves could be on the horizon, "I realistically could see a few more moves being made before we report to spring training". It has already been reported that the Animals are in discussions to trade their 2008 1st round draft pick...stay tuned.

A Return To The Nest:
(9/02/07) The Animals Have Hired former Pitching Prospect Ryan Anderson to be the Executive Chef at the Stadium Restaurant Who's On First. Instead of Coaching the Leagues top Pitching Staff, Anderson brings his Culinary skills to make Who's On First the top Restaurant in the League. The One time Animal Prospect traded his baseball cap for a chefs hat after arm injuries ended his promising career. Introducing new Delicious Meals like the Buhner Burger and the Morandini Cheese Steak, Anderson will finally hear the Philly cheers he thought he would be hearing as a player.

Preparing For The Playoffs:
(9/02/07) The Animals Literally Beefed up their Coaching Staff in Preperations for the Playoffs. Mike Schmidt was Promoted To Bench Coach to Help Balboni in any capacity needed. The Animals then hired Von Hayes (1st Base Coach), Greg Luzinski (3rd Base Coach), Pete Incaviglia (Hitting Coach) and Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams (Bullpen Coach).

Out With The Old....In With The New:
(2/02/07) The Endzone Animals have announced some radical changes to the Uniforms, Logos & Club Name Lettering. " We felt as an organization, a change was needed " GM Frankie Ravioli said.
"Passion, Intimidating & being Ferocious are some of the words that describe our fans, and we feel the new logo embodies that".Ravioli also added "The Old logo will be looked at as throwback gear, which we know is very popular with the fans. The Animals will not disowned the identity he have had since 1998, the old logo will still be used at alumni reunions and with stories on the teams history."

The Animals new merchandise is now available at the teams pro shop located at the Stadium.

Other News & Notes:
(2/02/07) The Animals announced that there will be 2 new members inducted into the Animals Alumni. The 2 new members will be Brian Jordan and Mo Vaughn. Animals officials have said that a date and details for the ceremony will be scheduled after the DMB schedule has been released. Last years induction ceremony drew the second largest crowd for an Animals home game in the teams history (54,583). The largest crowd to attend a home game was the Animals first home playoff game in 2005 (57,628).

Its been reported that H.O.F Slugger Mike Schmidt will be the new bench coach for the Animals. The search for a new hitting coach is not complete yet, so we expect the Animals to announce the Schmidt move when they announce the new hitting coach.

Pepitone Gone, Rumor Brewing
(4/20/06) Philadelphia Inquirer has learned that The Animals have Fired Hitting Coach Joe Pepitone and hired H.O.F Slugger Michael Jack Schmidt. The New Hitting Coach hopes his arrival will turn around the teams hitting woes.

Rumors have been swirling that the Animals are in the market for a Power Hitter. When reached for comment, GM Frankie Ravioli didn't shoot the rumor down, "My phone lines are open 24/7. I am always open to trade offers, or if a GM wants to let me know a certain player is available."
Animal's Alumni Announced!
(4/20/06) The Animals short history has not stopped them from celebrating their past. Off the heels of The Animals First winning season and Playoff appearance, Animal's Alumni has been created. "We feel it's only proper to start honoring past players who are still cherished and loved by the great fans of Philadelphia," said GM Frankie Ravioli. The Induction Ceremony will include a Video Tribute, Enshrinement into the Alumni, and each player will receive a 24K Gold Cheesesteak Medallion. GM Frankie Ravioli said the First inductees will be former Outfielder Jay Buhner and 2nd Baseman Mickey Morandini. Buhner said in a brief interview with the Philly Inq ,"I Love the Philly fans. Where else can You be Cheered, Booed, Cussed at and Dodge Batteries all in the same Inning."