Week Four (April 8, 2001)
The Cream Is Rising
Last week in the Hanover Division, only two teams were above .500. But now three teams -- Newark, Stanhope and Brooklyn -- sit atop the standings with 15 wins each, and Phoenix trails the pack with 14. Matthew's Mighty Men of Stanhope have won 8 of their last 10 and ended the week with six straight wins, rocketing from 6th place to 2nd and a game behind the suddenly struggling Sugar Bears.
Over in the Morris, a three-team race is slowly emerging, but it's still Vatican City posting the league's best record at 21-7. Despite a 18-8 record and the league's best pitching staff, the Arkansas Golden Falcons are two games out. At least they can celebrate the Cardinals' win streak ended at 10 straight... Sneaking into third place with a 6-2 week, including a three-game sweep of Newark, the Iron Fist appear to be playoff bound again.
A Loaded Deck of Cards
Who's powering the league's most potent offense? Alex Rodriguez (.310, 10 HR, 31 RBI) and Carlos Delgado (.369, 6 HR, 21 RBI) are getting the headlines, but Matt Lawton (.348, 4 HR, 23 RBI), Richard Hidalgo (.279, 5 HR, 21 RBI) and Mike Cameron (.271, 8 HR, 20 RBI) are making sure the opposition can't pitch around them... Speaking of a balanced attack, Stanhope's Mighty Men, with a league-leading .309 team batting average, has six regulars hitting over .300 -- and Derek Jeter at .238... With 15 HR in his first 25 games, Newark's Carl Everett is on pace to eclipse teammate Mark McGwire's league record of 84 homeruns. "The only stat I care about is the W," said Everett, spending his off-day visiting sick children at the hospital. Everett also leads the league in RBIs, slugging percentage and pints of blood donated.
Stanhope's Dave Burba shaved nearly 2 runs off his ERA with his first quality start -- 8 IP, 2 H, 1 BB, 0 R and 12 K -- to move to 4-0 on the season... Arkansas's Pedro Martinez, 3-2 with a 2.35 ERA, has 63 strikeouts -- no one else has more than 39... Hoboken's Billy Koch is 1-0 with 8 SV and a 1.23 ERA -- despite allowing 27 base runners in 14 2/3 innings pitched... Vancouver and Arkansas have three starters apiece on the ERA leader board.
Snakebit!
After losing Mark McGwire for the season in Spring Training, Newark saw Randy Johnson, Jim Thome and Chris Stynes go down with various ailments so far this year. But perhaps the injury that sums it up best was to Charles Johnson, who fell victim to one of baseball's classic practical jokes when Mike Stanley hid a snake in his locker on April Fool's Day. Unknown to Stanley, the snake was a deadly Malayan pit viper, and when Johnson opened his locker two days later, the viper wasn't in a joking mood. Only the quick-thinking of clubhouse attendant Mike Caruso saved CJ's life. "That kid really hustles," said Woody Williams. "He killed the snake, sucked out the poison and told the paramedics which antivenom to use." Nevertheless, Johnson will be out a couple weeks, opening a roster spot for minor league journeyman Tyler Houston. Stanley, who said the guy at the pet store assured him it was a garter snake, was released. Williams went to Carvel to get Caruso an ice-cream cake to show his appreciation, but somehow got locked in the display case and will miss four starts with frostbite.
The lastest victim of the malaria epidemic is Vatican City's Todd Hundley, who will miss the rest of the month. But that's not as bad as Brooklyn's Scott Spiezio, who fell asleep during batting practice on Monday's game and still hasn't woke up. Doctors have diagnosed him with African sleeping sickness and say he'll be snoozing until sometime in May... Stanhope reliever Tim Worrell was kidnapped en route to visiting his friend Kerry Wood, recently demoted to the Triple-A Stroudsburg Trainwreck. Team owner David Landsman at first refused to pay the ransom and even demanded the kidnappers mail him Worrell's big toe as proof they had him, thinking they had his older brother Todd.
TWIB may have Ozzie Smith, but we have the better Smith! Zane Smith, former pitcher for the San Antonio Slingers and Sacramento Seahawks, now writes this column exclusively for the Diamond Mind Baseball League. Click Here for past articles.