Week Five (April 16, 2001)
Defending Champs One Game Behind
Holy Week in the Vatican doesn't leave much time for baseball, but despite a mediocre 3-3 week, the Vatican City Cardinals still post the best record in Diamond Mind Baseball with a 24-10 record. But the Arkansas Golden Falcons have moved to just one game out of first place after reeling off five wins this week, including a critical 8-3 win in the Holy See on Monday... The defending league champion Matthew's Mighty Men of Stanhope are also inching closer, but the injury-riddled Newark Sugar Bears are still a game up on their perennial Hanover rivals. Both teams are already eyeing next week's three-game set in Stanhope as a preview of the division championship series... Rebounding from a six-game losing skid, the Philadelphia Endzone Animals posted a 6-3 record last week, but are still four games below .500... The Hoboken Cutters opened the week with five straight wins, but then lost three over the weekend and still find themselves tied for fourth place with the struggling Phoenix Dragons, which have dropped 8 of their last 10.
Holy Hubbard!
Arkansas's Barry Bonds hit .516 (16 for 31) with 4 2B, 4 HR, 8 R and 14 RBI last week after his friend Tom Cruise loaned him a copy of Dianetics. "I've learned to unleash the vast hidden potential of my mind," said Bonds, now hitting .321 with 13 HR, 36 RBI and 24 BB this year. "We will return to the playoffs this season and, L. Ron willing, we will win it all this time!"... Powering Philadelphia's resurgence has been Jose Vidro, who slammed 4 2B and 3 HR last week, bumping his slugging percentage by nearly 100 points... The Dragons' recent struggles have come despite a stellar performance from catcher Jorge Posada, who hit .565 (13 for 23) last week to raise his batting average to .375.Still on track to tie Greg Maddux's record of three straight Ben McDonald Awards, Arkansas's Pedro Martinez leads the league in ERA, strikeouts, quality start percentage and fewest runners per 9 innings... Mariano Rivera allowed 0 ER, 0 H and 0 BB over 3 IP this week, recording a win and a save in two appearances for Stanhope... Columbia's Rick Reed has won three straight decisions to drop his ERA to 3.38 ... Kentucky's Tomokazu Ohka went 2-0 this week, including a 6 H, 1 ER performance against his former Newark teammates.
A New HR Champ? Probably Not This Year
On pace to destroy the single-season records for home runs, RBIs, runs scored and slugging percentage, Carl Everett said he "felt a little weird" before Sunday's game with Hoboken. Despite going 3-for-5 with 3 RBI in the 10-3 win, Everett left the game in the 7th after developing a fever. Soon doctors confirmed his worst fear: The star slugger is the fifth victim of the malaria epidemic. "I guess I shouldn't have gone to the Philippines on my off-day to nurse those sick kids back to health," Everett sighed from his hospital bed... Moments after Newark hitting coach Jim Eisenreich announced star catcher Charles Johnson was a day or two away from coming off the Disabled List, Tyler Houston suddenly developed a case of amnesia and refused to report to Triple-A Dublin. "Who's Tyler? My name is Charles Johnson. I'm a big black catcher and I just came off the Disabled List. Where's my stuff?" Houston was optioned to the Greystone Park Psychiatric Hospital, where he claims he is hitting .284 with 21 RBI... Carolina's Barry Zito is out 15 games with a horrendous case of acne. "Barry is taking this acne thing way too seriously," said Mudcat reliever Bobby Chouinard. "He says it's not the acne so much as people making fun of his name, pronouncing it 'Barry Zit-o'... hey, that is pretty funny!" Arkansas's Randy Wolf was diagnosed with lupus but could return as early as May thanks to a radical experimental treatment which requires him to bathe in the blood of an infant every night for two weeks. "Do what it takes man, we're one game out of first place," Wolf said.
Philadelphia released OF Brian Jordan, but the former NFL star was quickly snatched up by the banged-up Sugar Bears. "We needed help in our secondary," joked GM Butch Garretson. The Endzone Animals also played musical chairs with their bullpen, releasing Steve Rain and Jeff Shaw to make room for Rich Garces, David Weathers and Jose Mesa... Kentucky also was active this week, releasing Raul Casanova, Jay Bell, Greg Vaughn and Josias Manzanillo and adding Pat Hentgen, Carlos Beltran and Peter Bergeron.
TWIB may have Ozzie Smith, but we have the better Smith! Zane Smith, former pitcher for the San Antonio Slingers and Sacramento Seahawks, now writes this column exclusively for the Diamond Mind Baseball League. Click Here for past articles.