Week Seventeen (July 1, 2002)  

Mo' Better

Last week's schedule was heavy with interdivision match-ups, with the Morris Division coming out on top. Morris teams went 28-15 (.651) against the Hanovers, losing just one out of 14 three-game sets; on the season, Morris is 219-187 against their cross-division rivals.

Last week's top performing team were the Philadelphia Endzone Animals, ranked 7th in the Morris and 11th overall. After opening the week at 2-2, the Animals went on a four-game winning streak, their longest in two months... Philly's streak included a two-game sweep of the sixth-place Carolina Mudcats, who are 1.5 games ahead of the Animals after going 4-4 -- the only Morris Division team not to post a winning record this week... The top three teams in the Morris Division, the Arkansas Golden Falcons, Vancouver Iron Fist and Wanaque Wolverines, all went 5-3 on the week to leave the standings unchanged. But the Tijuana Banditos inched into 4th place and a tie for 7th overall by winning 5 out of 7 this week; the Columbia Rattlesnakes fell into 5th place after going 4-4.

If the Hanover Division's top two teams can't find a way to beat the Morris's mid-level talent, what will happen in the World Series? The Newark Sugar Bears went 3-5 this week, including two more losses against Columbia. The Sugar Bears are 2-7 against the 5th-place Rattlesnakes, 76-32 against everyone else... The Hoboken Cutters, who also went 3-5, have found their personal demon in Tijuana, who swept three straight from the Cutters in Hoboken. The 4th-place Banditos have won 5 of their last 6 against the Cutters, 6 of 9 overall... The third-place Honolulu Sharks remained 1.5 back of Hoboken, also going 3-5, but are now tied with Vancouver as the No. 4 seed in the wildcard race... The Phoenix Dragons were the only Hanover team not to post a losing record this week, going 4-4. They also were the only Hanover team to actually win a series, going 2-1 against Columbia. But they followed that up by dropping 2-of-3 to to the woeful Endzone Animals and finished the week splitting a pair with the Sharks. They fell into a tie with Tijuana for the 7th-best record in the league, two behind Wanaque for the final playoff berth... The fifth-place Brooklyn Bean Counters opened the week at 1-4, but won two straight this weekend to sneak a half-game ahead of the Stanhope Mighty Men, who went 3-5.

Is it too early to be talking about magic numbers? Not for the Harrison Rats! By dropping both ends of Sunday's doubleheader to Hoboken, Harrison was mathematically eliminated from winning the Hanover Division. With 44 games remaining, the Rats could win every game until the end of the season and go 77-85 -- one win less than the Sugar Bears have right now.

Newark's magic number to repeat as Hanover Division champions is 30 -- any combination of 30 Newark wins or Hoboken losses will give the Sugar Bears their fifth division title in seven seasons. Arkansas is much closer -- their magic number to clinch their fourth Morris Division title is 20; their magic number to secure the best record in baseball is 39.

Sir Barry

No DMBL player has ever won the Triple Crown (batting average, RBIs and HRs), nor has any player ever won the so-called Sabermetric Triple Crown (batting average, on-base percentage and slugging percentage), but Barry Bonds has commanding leads in all those categories, plus in runs, walks, runs created, runs created per 27 outs, isolated power, total average, on-base plus slugging, secondary average, AB per home run. He's also a close second in extra-base hits and total bases and is 5-for-5 in stolen bases -- all this despite missing 14 games due to various aches and pains, and a league-leading 27 intentional walks. This week, Bonds won his fifth OmahaSteaks.com Batter of the Week Award, hitting .323 (1.288 OPS) with 10 RBIs and leading the league with 5 HRs and 11 runs. He also has an active hit streak of 10 games.

"Barry, Barry, Barry... why doesn't Zane Smith just marry Barry and get it over with?" asked Philly rookie Albert Pujols, who led the league in hits (17) and doubles (7) this week, hitting .500 with a 1.259 OPS, 9 R and 6 RBI. Pujols' teammate, Troy Glaus, had an unusual week, hitting .222 (6-for-27), with 2 doubles, 3 HRs and 13 RBIs -- but just 3 runs scored... Carolina's Tony Clark also had a shot at free steaks this week, hitting .484 (15-for-31) with a 1.349 OPS, smacking 4 doubles and 2 HRs for 7 R and 7 RBI... Harrison's Fred McGriff had a huge week in just 10 at-bats, scoring 5 runs and knocking in 8 more on 6 hits, including a double and 2 HRs. He collected five of his RBIs as a pinch-hitter... Bernie Williams keyed the league's most potent offense, leading the Stanhope Mighty Men to a 51-run week by hitting .313 (.983 OPS) with 2 HR, 8 R and 8 RBI. Todd Helton hit just .214, but walked 10 times and slugged 3 HRs to generate a .972 OPS, 9 R and 8 RBI, while Johnny Damon hit .419 with 6 R, 5 RBI and is riding a 9-game hitting streak.

Who else is hot? Brooklyn's Marlon Anderson (.323, 2 HR, 5 R, 6 RBI, 1 SB); Harrison's Gary Sheffield (.344, 1.083 OPS, 3 HR, 7 RBI); Honolulu's Jason Giambi (.414, 1.321 OPS, 2 HR, 6 R, 5 RBI, 7 BB) and Dmitri Young (.320, .840 SLG, 4 HR, 5 R); Newark's Bobby Abreu (.333, 1 HR, 5 R, 8 RBI) and Manny Ramirez (.300, 1.033 OPS, 3 HR, 8 R); Tijuana's Bret Boone (.233, 3 HR, 7 R, 6 RBI); Vancouver's Jeff Bagwell (.300, 1.033 OPS, 3 HR, 6 R, 5 RBI); Wanaque's Alex Rodriguez (.333, 1.194 OPS, 4 HR, 6 R, 7 RBI) and Carlos Delgado (.290, 3 HR, 7 R, 7 RBI).

The Lyon King

Vancouver rookie Brandon Lyon endured one of his worst performances as a professional two weeks ago, getting pounded for 7 hits and 7 earned runs in just 1.2 innings against the Golden Falcons. But Lyon showed considerable poise for a 22-year-old by bouncing back from his worst with his best, throwing his first career shutout Tuesday with a 6-0 win over the Bean Counters. Lyon allowed just 2 hits and 2 walks without letting a batter reach second base. On Sunday, Lyon kept it going, giving up just 5 hits and no walks in a 5-3 win over the Wolverines. For the week, Lyon (9-5, 4.34) went 2-0 with a 1.80 ERA, 0.60 WHIP and 6 K in 15 IP to win his first R. Kelly Sex Tape Pitcher of the Week Award. "That is really quite disturbing," Lyon said after watching the video that came with his award. "I really don't think I want this." The runner-up for the award, Tijuana's Javier Vazquez, also refused it, so Lyon is stuck with it. Vazquez was even more dominant in his one start, giving up just a 7th-inning double and a 9th-inning walk in a 1-0 win over the woeful Rats. Vazquez racked up 10 Ks and improved his record to 11-12 with the complete-game shutout... Brooklyn's Dave Williams also had an impressive week, going 2-0 with a 1.26 ERA, 0.98 WHIP in his two starts. Williams is 4-8 despite a 3.53 ERA... Columbia's Miguel Batista continues to baffle batters with his new knuckleball. On Thursday, Batista retired the first 20 Sugar Bears in order (with 8 Ks) before giving up a solo shot to Chipper Jones with two outs in the 7th. He hung on to win, 3-1, yielding just another single and a walk. Over his last six starts, Batista is 4-0 with a 1.46 ERA, 1.00 WHIP and 30 K, improving his record from 0-2 with a 9.75 ERA and 2.00 WHIP to 4-2 with a 3.49, 1.24... Other top starters: Carolina's Barry Zito (1-0, 2.92 ERA, 12 H, 6 BB, 14 K in 12.1 IP); Columbia's Mark Buehrle (1-1, 1.20 ERA, 9 H, 4 BB, 7 K in 15 IP) and Aaron Sele (1-1, 1.23 ERA, 15 H, 2 BB, 4 K in 14.2 IP); Harrison's Steve Trachsel (1-0, 1.13 ERA, 7 H, 0 BB, 7 K in 8 IP); Hoboken's Joel Pineiro (1-0, 1.29 ERA, 7 H, 3 BB, 5 K in 7 IP); Honolulu's Freddy Garcia (0-0, 1.00 ERA, 6 H, 0 BB, 7 K in 9 IP); Wanaque's Matt Morris (1-0, 2.57 ERA, 7 IP, 9 H, 0 BB, 8 K).

Making its first post-mortem appearance, the re-animated corpse of Darryl Kile looked a little shakey, giving up 6 hits, 5 walks, 3 runs and a wild pitch. It was pulled after six innings with the score knotted at 3-3, but the Sugar Bears would win the game when Paul Lo Duca led off the 9th with a walk-off home run. Team trainer Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein said he'll do some fine-tuning on the body before its next start.

This week's top reliever was Philly middleman Mike Remlinger, who picked up 2 wins in three appearances, yielding just 1 H, 0 R and 1 BB in 5.1 IP. Remlinger struck out 7 and stranded all four inherited runners... The newest addition to the Newark bullpen, Felix Rodriguez, picked up a win in two perfect appearances, retiring all 12 men he faced. Rodriguez has been dominant since joining the Sugar Bears (1-0, 0.73 ERA, 0.57 WHIP, 10 K in 12.1 IP), but he has yet to appear in a save situation; since he's now sharing the closer role with Keith Foulke and Arthur Rhodes, he could soon be passed as the league's save leader... This week's top closers: Columbia's Jeff Shaw (3 SV, 0 R, 0 H, 1 BB, 2 K in 2.2 IP); Hoboken's Jason Isringhausen (1-0, 1 SV, 0 R, 3 H, 0 BB, 2 K in 4 IP); Vancouver's Billy Wagner (4 SV, 0 R, 1 H, 0 BB, 3 K in 3.2 IP); Wanaque's Kazuhiro Sasaki (1-0, 2 SV, 0 R, 1 H, 1 BB, 5 K in 3.2 IP).

Alomar Reinstated

Carolina Mudcats catcher Sandy Alomar's lifetime ban from the DMBL turned into a month-long sabbatical, when lab analysis confirmed the "magic mushrooms" he'd been eating were nothing more than garden variety edible mushrooms available in any supermarket.

"I hope Sandy accepts my full apology and we welcome him back into the league with open arms," Commissioner Yaro Z. Zajac said Saturday.

Alomar was happy to be back in the league but is still fuming about the incident. "Just regular mushrooms huh? I'm gonna kick my dealer's ass!"

The Moose is Loosed

With two weeks to go before the July 15 trading deadline, general managers continue to heat up the phone lines.

On Wednesday, Brooklyn GM David Schlossberg made his league-leading seventh trade, sending Joe Randa (.215, 5 HR, 41 RBI) to Hoboken for a 5th Round draft pick. The Bean Counters now pick twice in the 3rd, 4th and 5th rounds.

But Hoboken GM Mark Hrywna wasn't done yet, sending 1B Richie Sexson (.236, 27 HR, 67 RBI) to Carolina for 1B/OF Kevin Millar (.286, 9 HR, 40 RBI) and two-time All-Star Mike Mussina (9-9, 3.76 ERA).

The move did come at a high cost for Cutter fans, though: In addition to the 27-year-old Sexson, Mussina only agreed to report to Hoboken if the Cutters released lefty reliever Mike Matthews, who stole Mussina's high-school sweetheart. Matthews, who combined with Joel Pineiro for first no-hitter in team history, will be sorely missed by his teammates, some of whom griped openly about the decision. "Another bonehead move by the man who brought you Julio Lugo," said SP Jon Garland, who was promptly released.

Heading into a three-game series with the Sugar Bears, crafty Stanhope GM David Landsman signed Newark cast-off Shane Spencer to a 10-day contract. The rookie outfielder smacked two bombs against his old team, including a 5th inning solo shot that turned out to be the game-winner... This week's other comings and goings: Arkansas gave up on Rick Ankiel and Chuck Knoblauch, signing Jeff Liefer and Alex Ochoa; Brooklyn inked 10-year veteran Cal Ripken; Carolina re-signed Homer Bush and added Philly cast-off Shawn Estes at the cost of Randy Choate; Hoboken released Adrian Beltre and signed Brook Fordyce; Vancouver said hello to Rick Helling and Steve Finley and good-bye to Ruben Quevedo and Todd Ritchie.

Catching Some Injuries

Three catchers will miss extended playing time after various incidents last week. Hanover Division All-Star Mike Piazza left in the 9th inning of an 11-1 blowout at the hands of Tijuana when a Banditos fan repeatedly yelled "hey baldy" at him in the on-deck circle. A sobbing Piazza refused to return to the field, fleeing directly to the home of Cy Sperling, not just the president, but a client of the Hair Club for Men. Cy said Piazza will be back in action in about two weeks with a full head of his own naturally-growing hair... Columbia's Ivan Rodriguez was the victim of a far more serious injury when he and Einar Diaz decided to pull a prank on rookie Mark Buehrle. Details of the incident aren't known, but apparently a gerbil was involved. A team trainer said Buehrle will undergo psychological testing but is expected to make his next start. Rodriguez will be out of action "until we can somehow coax the little bugger out of there." Diaz, on the other hand, was so traumatized by the event that he faked his own death, going so far as to have a funeral. He'll return to action as soon as the team can figure out where he's buried.

Stanhope's Ken Griffey, in the first inning of his second game back after serving a one-week team suspension for not running hard on a pop up, pulled a hamstring running full-out down the first baseline on a routine ground out to second. "That's the kind of hustle we like to see," said manager Buck Showalter as a writhing Griffey was carted off the field. The Mighty Men will cryogenically freeze Griffey until medical technology advances far enough to repair a pulled hamstring... Three young players have decided to give up their careers in baseball to focus on the entertainment field. Brooklyn's Dustin Hermanson has joined the cast of Thoroughly Modern Millie, Carolina's Torii Hunter will star in his own Fox reality TV series, Who Wants To Be Torii Hunter's Baby Momma?, and Tijuana rookie Chad Bradford decided to join the circus in order to meet this girl. Another pitcher, Phoenix's Jason Bere, went to see Bradford's act and accidentally ran over a circus freak. Bradford will spend a week in jail; the freak will be out 10 to 12 weeks.

TWIB may have Ozzie Smith, but we have the better Smith! Zane Smith, former pitcher for the San Antonio Slingers and Sacramento Seahawks, now writes this column exclusively for the Diamond Mind Baseball League. Click Here for past articles.