Week 22 - September 11, 2006

We're Back...

Just when it seemed like negotiations were at a standstill, both sides have come to their senses to end the Peanuts and Crackerjack Vendors Local 316 strike by agreeing to a new three-year contract. The deal comes just in time to save the 2006 season, which only has about a week's worth of games left. Then it's on to the post-season! Two teams are in and four teams are out, leaving eight to battle it out for the remaining four spots.

The Newark Sugar Bears secured home-field advantage throughout the playoffs, clinching the No. 1 seed with a roar as they won all eight of their games. It's the second straight Commissioner's Cup for the Sugar Bears, which is awarded annually to the team with the best regular season record... The only team the Sugar Bears know will be joining them in the big dance are the Vancouver Ironfist, who went 6-2. The Fisters have a magic number of 4 to win their first Morris Division title since 2001; they've already clinched no worse a finish than the #5 seed... The next team to clinch a post-season berth will likely be the third-place Carolina Mudcats, who have a magic number of 3 to clinch at least the No. 6 seed. The 'Cats, coming off a 5-5 week, would have to drop 7 out of their last 9 games -- and have one of the teams behind them run the table -- to not reach the post-season.

A dramatic battle for fourth-place overall, and second place in the Hanover Division, has broken out between the slumping Las Vegas Rat Pack (3-4) and the red-hot Marietta Mighty Men (7-2), who are now tied. Ironically, the Mites appeared to have punted at the trading deadline, sending two of their top players to the Rats in exchange for a prospect and picks. But maybe Marietta's apparent surrender was a trojan horse -- since the trade, the Rats have gone 22-23, while the Men have gone 32-14, making up 9½ games on them in the standings.

All alone in 6th place are the Hillsborough Hired Hitmen, who went 6-3 to break out of a tie for the final playoff berth. The Hitmen have won five straight games to move a half-game up on the team they had been tied with, the Hoboken Cutters, who went 6-4 to fall into 7th... The team that best improved its chances were the Arkansas Golden Falcons, who went 7-1, including four straight wins, to jump from 10th place to 8th place and are just 1½ games out of the final post-season spot... It was only a month ago that the Philadelphia Endzone Animals were in 5th place and looking to move up; now, after a 5-5 week, they're in 9th, a half-game behind the Falcs and 2 games out of 6th... The only other team still alive are the South Boston Gang, but their post-season hopes are all but extinguished after going 2-9 to fall from 9th to 10th. The Gang will be eliminated with their next loss.

The rest of the league, as they say in the World Series of Poker, is "drawing dead." The Westwood Deductions, in 11th place, went 5-5, including three straight wins to give them 65 on the season -- ensuring, at least, they won't finish with a second-straight 100-loss season. With their next win they also can guarantee they won't repeat last year's last-place finish... Despite a 3-7 performance, including an active six-game losing streak, the D.C. Bushslappers have moved up to 12th place, up from 13th... Now occupying that unlucky spot are the Phoenix Dragons, who went 1-9 -- including three straight losses -- to fall from 12th to 13th... Still in last place are the Honolulu Sharks. The Fish went 0-10 and have lost 12 straight games to plummet 41 games below .500, 1½ games behind Phoenix for the league's worst record and the most balls in the draft lottery for the No. 1 pick.

Last Licks: This is it! Teams have between 7 and 10 games remaining, so if they've got anything left in the tank, now is the time to use it. One of the biggest series left in the season is between the Rat Pack and the Mighty Men -- the two teams are tied for 4th place overall, but neither is guaranteed a playoff spot... The Mudcats, who need 3 more wins to clinch, shouldn't have a problem as their final six games this season are against the 12th-place D.C. and 14th-place Honolulu... Hillsborough controls its own destiny in 6th place, but the Hitmen won't have an easy time of it as the they have three games in Arkansas and three games in Marietta... To move up in the standings, the 7th-place Cutters almost certainly have to pull off a sweep in this week's series against the last-place Sharks. After that, they have three games in Newark, followed by a final homestand against Philly, whose post-season ambitions may still be alive at that point... The Golden Falcons can claim sole possession of 6th place -- and a shot at adding another year to their DMBL-record of 13 straight playoff appearances -- by sweeping a three-game series against Hillsborough. But they end the season with a killer 7-game road trip that includes three games against the archrival Ironfist, who would love nothing more than extinguishing Arkansas's post-season hopes!

Deduct This!

The Deductions are guaranteed another losing season -- as they have every year of their existence -- and will finish among the bottom four teams, as they have in three of their five seasons. But with five wins this week, they at least clinched the dubious honor of not losing 100 games for the second season in a row! And while the rest of the league may not make much of that accomplishment, it certainly mattered to Rodrigo Lopez, who pitched back-to-back gems -- both 3-1 wins -- to ensure the losses would stay in the double digits. On the week, Lopez allowed just 2 ER (1.13 ERA), 12 hits and 2 walks (7.9 R/9) while striking out 8 in 16.0 IP. Lopez has just eight starts this season -- he was promoted from Triple-A after the trades of Brandon Webb and Zach Duke -- but so far he's a respectable 4-4 with 4 quality starts and 1 complete game. In fact, Lopez has a better winning percentage (.500), quality start percentage (.500) and complete game percentage (.125) than the highly touted Webb (.286, .409, .091), and his peripheral numbers are almost identical (5.65 ERA, 15.3 R/9, 1.7 HR/9 for Lopez; 5.60, 15.2, 1.5 for Webb). Lopez's back-to-back wins the 2-Minute Football Pitcher of the Week Award. It's not much, but it may be the only award the Deductions win this year!

Newark's John Smoltz, the league's first and still the only 20-game winner, made it 21 with a four-hit shutout in his only start this week... Arkansas and Carolina got great one-two punches: Roger Clemens (2-0, 1.20 ERA, 7.2 R/9, 3 BB, 9 K in 15.0 IP) and Danny Haren (2-0, 2.25 ERA, 7.9 R/9, 2 BB, 14 K in 16.0 IP) for the Falcs, and Roy Halladay (2-0, 2.12 ERA, 7.9 R/9, 3 BB, 13 K in 17.0 IP) and Carlos Zambrano (1-0, shutout, 1.72 ERA, 9.2 R/9, 5 BB, 13 K in 15.2 IP) for the Fish... This week's other top starters: Hillsborough's Felix Hernandez (2-0, 3.00 ERA, 9.6 R/9, 1 BB, 14 K in 15.0 IP); Hoboken's Carlos Silva (1-0, 1.59 ERA, 7.9 R/9, 0 BB, 4 K in 17.0 IP); Marietta's A.J. Burnett (2-0, 1.26 ERA, 10.7 R/9, 6 BB, 16 K in 14.1 IP); and Vancouver's Mark Buehrle (2-0, 1.88 ERA, 10.0 R/9, 1 BB, 7 K in 14.1 IP).

Going... Going... Gomes!

We mentioned earlier how the trade between the Rat Pack and the Mighty Men really backfired for the Rats. How bad was it? Well, since going to the desert, Gary Sheffield is hitting just .228 (.702 OPS) in 171 AB. And while Sheffield wasn't having an Mitch Award-caliber season with the Mites, he was nowhere near this bad (.272, .830 OPS). But perhaps even more shocking than Sheffield's drop-off is the rapid ascent of the guy he was traded for. Rookie Jonny Gomes was hitting a ho-hum .246 (.763 OPS) with the Rat Pack, but great things were seen in the 25-year-old's future. Who knew his future began as soon as he crossed the Mason-Dixon line? Since joining the Mighty Men, Gomes is hitting an astounding .343 (1.183 OPS) -- with 19 HR and 55 RBI in just 43 games! (In case you were wondering, that would work out to 72 HRs and 207 RBIs over a full season.) Gomes has been among the league leaders in most categories almost every week since joining the Mites, so we thought it was finally time to give the kid his due -- and his first-ever OmahaSteaks.com Batter of the Week Award. This week, Gomes hit .417 (1.308 OPS) with 5 HR, 9 R and 10 RBI in 9 games, putting him int he top 5 in BA, OPS, OBP (.475), SLG (.833), hits (15), runs, HRs, isolated power (.417), total average (1.667), total bases (30) and AB/HR (7.2). He also led the league in runs created (15.0) and RC/27 (19.3)... Not to be cruel, but Sheffield hit .111 (3-for-27) with a .416 OPS this week.

Speaking of Marietta, Morgan Ensberg added to his league-record hitting streak, reaching 35 games before the strike hit, and then hitting safely in three more games after play resumed. He reached 38 games with a bang by slamming two home runs in a 13-1 drubbing of Westwood, but he should've saved one of those dingers for the following night as the Cutters held him hitless (though he did draw a walk). The Mighty Men did win the game, 4-1, and Ensberg said that's all he cared about. However, since the streak ended, he's gone just 1-15 with 0 R and 0 RBI... In any event, Ensberg's record is assured of standing at least through the start of next season -- the longest active streak at the moment is held by Vancouver's Rondell White, who has a 12-game hitting streak with just 9 games left to play.

This week's other top batters: Arkansas's David Wright (.412, 1.224 OPS, 3 HR, 10 R, 11 RBI); Carolina's Paul Konerko (.294, 1.047 OPS, 3 HR, 6 R, 10 RBI); Hillsborough's Alex Rodriguez (.417, 1.364 OPS, 5 HR, 9 RBI); Las Vegas's Jhonny Peralta (.364, 1.419 OPS, 4 HR, 8 RBI); Newark's Carlos Guillen (.486, 1.212 OPS, 2 HR, 9 R); Vancouver's Michael Young (.406, 1.188 OPS, 2 HR, 11 RBI); and Westwood's Andruw Jones (.350, 1.136 OPS, 4 HR, 11 RBI).

Save Some Sugar

No DMBL team has ever "three-peated," but Newark has guaranteed themselves a chance to do so after clinching their division title and home-field advantage throughout the playoffs. GM Craig "Butch" Garretson doesn't want to take any chances during these last few meaningless games, so that means giving some of their players some extra R&R. "I don't care what they do, as long as they stay far away from bats and balls and rosin bags," Garretson said. The team has sent home Nick Johnson, who is taking up skydiving, and Chipper Jones, who will be swimming with stingrays.

Meanwhile, some unplanned absences  could have a big impact on several teams that are fighting for their playoff lives as three starting pitchers went down. Marietta has lost Kerry Wood for the rest of the regular season. Wood, who has a 9-4 record despite a 5.90 ERA, 14.2 R/9, has a bit of a drinking problem. He's not an alcoholic -- he literally has a problem drinking, whether it's from a glass, a bottle or a mug. "I was breastfed too long. I never learned to drink from anything else," Wood admitted. He's trying to work out his problems with a sippie cup... Some people in the Cutters' front office may develop a drinking problem -- and this time we do mean alcoholism -- after Jon Garland announced he'll sit out his final three starts of the season as he contemplates a run for Joe Lieberman's U.S. Senate seat in Connecticut. Garland, 14-13 with a 3.94 ERA and 12.5 R/9, has been replaced in the rotation by Tomo Ohka -- and the results haven't been pretty (0-2, 6.23 ERA, 15.6 R/9). Why Ohka, instead of veteran Jarrod Washburn or rookie phenom Scott Kazmir? Apparently, because Ohka's not a U.S. citizen. Pitching coach Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh said he's worried whoever they picked would try to jump into the contentious Bob Menendez/Tom Kean Jr. race... Another solid starter who is down for the count is Philly's John Patterson. Patterson, 12-8 with a 4.18 ERA, 12.9 R/9, was apparently moonlighting as a member of the Taliban. It's theoretically possible that he will be released should the Endzone Animals reach the post-season; then again, we may never hear from him again.